Posted by: gotrain | November 5, 2008

Where do we go from here?

Now that the US has elected a new President that everyone hopes will set the world on the right track, it is time to get back to business. I noticed this morning driving to work that the gas prices had fallen to the lowest level in at least 2-3 years. I wonder today how investors will respond to yesterdays election results.

To fix the world however is going to take a lot more than electing an intelligent and charming President. Human beings tend to depend much to much on governments and popular people to solve the problems. This is dangerous because by doing this we absolve ourselves of taking personal responsibility to fix what we have the most control over.  We have the most control over ourselves and our way of responding to what is going on around us. We can choose our response and change the outcome of any situation for ourselves and others. This is a simple yet profound concept but not widely practiced. Here is an example of something that happened yesterday and the choices that led to a negative outcome.

I had setup an interview with a businessman to profile his business for a business magazine. The business has been in operation for 57 years by the same owner and he is one of very few who still makes made to measure top quality men’s clothing all by hand.

The interviewer had agreed beforehand that I would videotape the interview and take pictures for her business magazine. I wanted to use the video for my website and to give to the business owner as a keepsake. I was in the process of setting up my equipment when the interviewer arrived and the businessman immediately starting showing her around to explain what they did.

A few minutes later he got interrupted with a call and the interviewer came over to me to tell me to follow her with my camera because she was recording everything he was saying and would use that to write her article. At first I said that she should finish the tour and then sit down for a formal interview that I could record, but I quickly agreed to follow them with my camera.

As we were touring the premises and he was introducing her to the staff and explaining what they did, I pointed the camera at her as she was asking a question. She immediately put her hand in front of the lens to block me from videotaping her and said she did not want to be taped. I turned the camera away and said fine. However, I had missed the answer to a question from an employee and repeated the question so I could record the important answer. The interviewer snapped at me and told me to stop and that I was interfering with her interview and not to ask questions.

I snapped back at her for lashing out at me and doing so in public made me respond even harsher than I should have. Later as we were waiting for the businessman to take care of another task, we got into a brief exchange about what had happened and again she fired away at me. I stood up for myself and told her what I thought of her. She immediately responded what I considered to be like a child and got up and said, that’s it I’m leaving and without further word to anyone just left.

The businessman and employees noticed what happened and could not believe that she would respond in this manner and just take off. I later called her boss to inform him about what had happened as the business owner wanted to know if they would still use the interview for the magazine. These situations and exchanges occurs in some form or another everyday in many organizations and families between so called adults. The outcome of this true story could have been very different. She could have explained in a respectful way that she did not want to be videotaped and propose a solution for me to catch what I needed on tape. After all, she had agreed beforehand to the video. Perhaps I as well could have asked her aside to tell her what I thought of her way of speaking to me.

It realy boils down to communication. But good communication requires mature behavior from two or more adults who are not dominated by fear. Fear is what causes us to behave immaturely to situations. Even if someone like the interviewer would agree to training and coaching on how to communicate well, without first sorting out the cause of her fear, she will never be able to properly apply and maintain better communication skills.

To free oneself of fears that hinder us from acting in a mature way requires self-knowledge and understanding. We need to know our type, the qualities and dominant fear of that type and how to get rid of the the negative tendency.

I know her type from behaviors I have observed in the past and in the Three Brain Synergy system we call it the Innovator. The main motivation of this type is ideas and the main fear is lack of control. This was very clearly displayed by the interviewer and she had let her fear overtake her in that moment and cuased the situation to immediately break down. This of course triggered my fears and I went into self-protection mode and my behaqviour deteriorated as well.

If every person could discover their type and learn to work on their fear, we could then learn how to collaborate using all the greatest tools and techniques that are out there. But unitl then many will defer their personal responsibility for change to the politicians and powerful influencers.

To learn more about the types of people approach you can read CrazyZoo by Fritz Glaus or visit ThreeBrainSynergy and take the e-learning demo lesson. However, the demo lesson only acts as an introduction, while the book covers the types in depth.

Stephen Goldberg

Advertisements

Responses

  1. It’s possible that if you treated her with common dignity and respect she would not have “flipped out”. While her response to the situation may be childish your behavior seems socially inappropriate. What does “flipped out” mean? Why did you feel it was your place to do further damage by calling her boss? You seem like a vengeful child yourself. Perhaps your theory of types doesn’t adequately replace simply being polite. It is always an option to warn someone that you about to begin filming them. Who arranged the filming? Sounds like your presence made her uncomfortable.

  2. Interestng perspective, however she did agree to the videotaping before coming and acutally told me to follow her while she was getting the tour by the client. I think letting her boss know what happened from my perspective was the right thing to do. It was not done to take revenge on her.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Categories